Re: Message to Sgt. Toot

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Posted by Billy D. Goat on March 25, 2000 at 18:16:55:

In Reply to: Message to Sgt. Toot posted by Cpl. MacWilliam on March 25, 2000 at 04:59:15:

Billy D. Goat at you service SIR!!!

The road has been long, the handouts poor, and the hospitality less than hospitable. After leaving the infamous Angus close to a month ago my campanion goats of the Gruff of Foot and I traveled up and down the mighty river until we met your so called cousin "Three Tales." Well I beg to differ. His name should rather be "Four tails," for no sooner did we arrive when he viciously cut off four of my goats' tails. Why? Who knows! He is your cousin! In response, my Gruff and I attacked his worthless dwelling with our greatest apetite. We managed to consume a majority of his home and the surrounding countryside. After a good nights rest, we backed up and got our hooves moving. Our next trek involved heading west into French territory. Traveling was hard through the mountians; however, our mountain goat tendencies aided us greatly. We finally arrived at a small outpost/fort placed upon what seemed three rivers converging. Anyway, I aproached the comander speeking in my clearest French, "We, We, We...huh, huh, huh!" He promptly jumped up and down with blissful glee shaking his head up and down. He then replied in broken English, "huh, huh, huh, my pants are made of crispy bacon, huh, huh, huh!" It all started friendly enough. But things took a turn for the worse when some of his men began to remove their sashes. We new we were in for it. Billy goats do not wear sashes. In fact our uniform consists of nothing! All of a sudden we heard a large CRASH and in came your Uncle Angus. He imediately pulled off his sash. When the Frenchmen saw just the sheer length and width of his sash, they put their little ones away. We then promptly left enroute for Carlise. We thanked Uncle Angus for saving the day and he explained that he had been following us for the past few weeks to say he was sorry for his previous behavior. We thanked him again and parted ways. So that is it. What we saw; what we did; the whole story. My goats and I plan on leaving Carlise tomorrow morning. We hear there is better grazing land south of here. Until then, BLEAT! And we shall meet again.

Gruff of Foot
Billy D. Goat

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