Posted by Vita red-faced Scribe on April 08, 2000 at 10:34:27:
In Reply to: Notice to The Citizens of Mohicanland posted by Mohicanland Town Council on April 08, 2000 at 09:35:34:
Dearest and Esteemed Members of The Town Council
I am so red-faced that I shall ask Yr Hmbl & Obdnt Ye OldeTowne Crier to ring her bell and ask for donations of our citizenry; donations of ice cubes wrapped in washed and starched and ironed and wrapped in cheese-cloth so I may cool my cheeks and brow.
Yeah, well, and all these years I imagined myself a scribe with imagination and humor!
Man, I can not write like this.
I tuned in to the Board, read the aforementioned announcement, and cracked up. Thank you for I really was in need of some good cracking up!
Bless you for the laughter you gave me!
has granted Sheriff Benton (just call me Bent) Twigg a temporary Leaf of Absence so that he may attend to family business. During his absence, the office will be filled by Acting Sheriff Dweebie Day-Lewis.
: Dweebie has announced that during his tenure as Acting Sheriff, he may be reached at the Sheriff's Office between the hours of 10:00 a.m. and noon and 2:00 P.M. to 3:00 P.M. Monday through Friday, unless the weather is bad, in which event the office will open later in the day unless he goes fishing that day, in which event he will probably be back the next morning. On weekends, he may be reached at Bumppo's Tavern, except for Saturday night, when he regularly attends Doctor Mary's much-touted Ladies' Night at Fort William Henry as a civic duty and is unlikely to be available again until Monday morning.
: At Sheriff Twigg's request, The Town Council is requesting that all citizens maintain a reasonable degree of decorum during his absence and refrain from:
: a. roasting each other over bonfires and starting riots in the Town Square
: b. dancing naked through the field of lilies behind the Town Library
: c. exchanging recipes involving their neighbor's pets
: d. involving themselves in temporary catering jobs with JFC Fast Foods
: e. forming betting pools on whether Cora and Hawkeye did or didn't
: f. other high spirited activities which might give The Crown an excuse to reclaim Mohicanland and turn it into a penal colony.
: The Members of The Town Council
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