E-Mail Of The Week???

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Posted by Rich/Mohican Press on April 09, 2000 at 06:43:09:

Let's start with The Gathering ...

Add two more names to the list, Bertha & Martha Boucher from up Canada way ... Welcome aboard! Also, make Summer's last name, Rognlie ... DUH! So, according to my primitive calculations, we now have 65 folks coming ... 13, or so, more than last year. We've decided to take the direct link to the sign-up page off our front page ... Not that we won't welcome anyone else, just no need to push it! We'd probably have to cut-off all sign-ons at 75 anyway ... PRETTY darn close now! Two more who WON'T be there, Ann & Mike Weldon. Heard from them last night ... and they wish you all well. I, for one, will miss Ann's jokes. A great teller of funnies ... accents, pantomimes, and all!

So, updating ... The Bear Den Cabins are bought and paid for. All events are planned, facilities booked. The T-Shirt is a-comin'. Raffles are shaping up. I believe we can still squeeze a soul or two in at the Cabins, if you are interested. At the present time, theater tickets cost $11.54 each, $10 of which everyone has already paid as part of your reservation ... so come prepared with your wallet stuffed with the additional $1.54 (or, maybe, less!)!!

Before I forget, please visit the page of ECO, Environmental & Conservation Organization, if you've yet to do so, and fire off a letter or two to the powers that be regarding the State of NC's proposed purchase of The River Walk property! See: http://www.main.nc.us/eco/

The past three weeks in a row, I've quoted e-mail to you. A couple most positive; last week's a bit bizarre! This week'll be no different. Maybe a new feature: E-Mail Of The Week! Oh, BOY! There was a time, not long ago, when we felt the need to be all things to all people ... bent over backwards to not offend anyone (unless they REALLY made us mad!!!), bit our tongues, etc., etc. Did no good. People got mad anyway, and we just got frustrated. So, guess what? We don't care anymore. Send us BS? We might just decide to make it public. If that does nothing more than relieve OUR stress, we'll be satisfied. That's where we're headed ... to make running this Web Site FUN again, for us. Hopefully, that means for most of you, too. Anyway, a few weeks back, we posted our Mohican Press Frequently Asked Questions to quell some of the E-Mail (legitimate, as well as not-so ...). Now, this ... Send us something really ridiculous, we'll post it! We're headed towards a MAJOR change soon ... or so we think. All signs point towards it ... but that's for another time. Right now, I have an E-Mail for you ... a real gem! I did omit names, allowing for the very REMOTE chance that this is for real. It's a good warm-up for the new COURIER out this week! Keep in mind, this is not so out of the ordinary for us ... real or not! Oh, it's called, in the subject line, "Two Hot Blondes"!

"Hey there. We, 'A' and 'B', really admire your work. It's quite
intresting. Plus, we enjoy watching your movies. If this is not sent to
Eric Schweig, we apologize immensely. We are sixteen years old. We find you
attractive. Also we find your masks creative, and inspiring. We hope to
find a man our age that looks just like you. We are high on apples and
bread. Do you like apples and bread? We are so bored. Help us. S.O.S. My
9th grade geography teacher used to beat me, we just 'B'. He was sad that
he couldn't have 'B', because all he could get was an inflatable air head
of a wife. Actually the real story goes like this. 'B' was tardy every
day to class, so Mr. V ... (that is his real name [real name ommited]) took 'B', a
beautiful, young flower maiden, into the hall and there he began to yell at
'B'. When he was finished he kicked her in the shoe and cried mightly
"*%%#" actually he only said dangit. And that's where the beating began.
We're not in 9th grade anymore and we hate Mr. V .... Another thing, our
assumption that his wife is infaltable is that he always talked about her,
but she never came in to see him and he didn't have any pictures. We made
masks in his class out of poster board. 'B' made a cheetah. It was very
vibrant and colorful. 'A', me, made a lion and used a hoola skirt, I
don't know how to spell that, as the main. Although we know you don't
specialize in African masks, you may borrow my idea of the hoola skirt for a
mask of any sort when ever you feel like it. We are still bored. We are
actually very social butterflies but today is Varsity Ball at our school and
we can't go because we are grounded and that's where everyone is. Oh, we're
just grounded from the dance. That is our little story, what do you think?
On a more serious note, please if you would tell us if you have any up coming
movies. We would buy a mask but seeing how we are just teenager and we don't
come from rich families, we have no money. We don't even have jobs yet, but
we plan on getting one. 'B' wants to be an interior decorater when she
grows up and 'A', me, wants to be an actress, writter, model, and mother
when she grows up. So far I have already acheived being a model and writer.
I model for Sheek Agency,(I think its only big in Utah) and 'B' will
design my clothes for me someday because she also wants to be a fashion
designer. We are best friends. We have been best friends since 7th grade.
We're tight, just like you and Vern. So, would you consider your self a
child of the 80's? If you watch the movies you make, is it weird seeing
yourself on the screen? Well looks like we should go. Please write back and
tell us what you think. May be we'll be more serious next time."

Whew! Poor Eric!

So, with that as a tease, we invite you to read the new Courier. In fact, we invite you to read ALL of our "Off The Beaten Mohican Trail" Pages! They harken back to an earlier day, when life here was fun, when the simplest way to gain entry to MohicanLand was merely a sense of humor, and something as innocent as "The Edict of Lainey" did not cause feathers to ruffle ... of course, not much WAS ruffled, it was just meant to LOOK that way! Life in MohicanLand! Much more on that in the forthcoming, "Companion Guide To On The Trail ..."!

... "Clean your Finger before you point at my Spots!" ...

Happy Trails, All!

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