Posted by Miss Katie on April 09, 2000 at 22:41:12:
In Reply to: Re: Gnarled Oaks from Tiny Acorn Nuts Grow posted by Miss Gaylee Cooper on April 08, 2000 at 21:45:18:
: : : : Notice to Mohicanland
: : : : The Geneaology Department of the Town Library has recently acquired some startling new material which will knock the socks off - - excuse me, FASCINATE citizens who have been under the impression that we live in a world of ordinary people. You just never know who your neighbors are until you do some reading or see a good movie.
: : : : Since demand for this new material will undoubtedly cause the prospect of a Beanie Baby riot to draw only a passing yawn and bribery to reach new heights thus far unachieved in Mohicanland, the Library requests that you ask the desk clerk to add your name to the official waiting list in an orderly manner. Please refrain from trampling your friends and neighbors to death getting to the desk.
: : : : Miss Gaylee Cooper
: : : : Town Librarian
: : : ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
: : : Good day to you, Miss Gaylee,
: : : I read with much interest your Notice which you had pinned up to the door of the Town Library.
: : : Now, we ARE friends, are we not, having supped together (beg pardon, SIPPED, Miss, SIPPED!) tea at Miss Marcia's? And friends CAN share information, can they not? So - hows about sharing 'the dirt'... sorry, the 'fascinating' material that has come your way? Now you know me, Miss Gaylee, the very soul of discretion!! I do know when to 'button my lip' as it were!!
: : : But of course, I'm not in the least surprised to hear there are skeletons in many of our neighbour's cabins, Miss!! Well, there are truly some unsavoury characters ambling around this neck o' the woods! Why some as wear nothing but two pieces of cloth attached to a bit string around their wastes - and a smile!! Others smelling of new cut hair and scalp! And as for that Sheriff Benton (just call me Bent)Twigg, the amount of eau de toilet water he splashes over himself when visiting Miss Marcia, well, one has to ask oneself, 'what is that man trying to hide?' Yes, it can be rather disturbing to a gentlewoman of my European high breeding, dontcha know!! Oh yes, Miss, Mohicanland is indeed very generously abounding with bounders, not to mention salacious characters!! So - come on, give!! Who and what are we talking about here!!!
: : : Now you wouldn't have a friend have to do anything so unseemly as to put her name on 'an official waiting list', surely?! Why not come along to my little establishment, where we could take tea (OK, maybe something stronger if you insist!) and you could tell me ALL about them - it!!
: : : Now I really MUST just pop along over to Miss Marcia's! I'm SURE there is something I want to tell her! I mean - something she wants to tell ME!
: : : Now, do come and join me for that tea, Miss Gaylee!
: : : I remain, your most trustworthy friend,
: : : Miss Katie,
: : : Miss Kate's Quilt Shoppe. (just a wee plug, dontcha know!)
: : ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
: : OK - perhaps you can fault my spelling - wastes, waists, what's the difference!! But I STILL say - you cannot fault my blood lines!! Hmmph!!
: : Miss Katie!
: Good evening, Miss Katie. So nice to run into you. I truly appreciate the charming invitation you sent me this afternoon and was just about to go home and pen you a short note. I would be pleased to have punch - oops, PLEASED AS PUNCH to have "tea" with you and chat about the new material the library has acquired. Of course, as to how I happened to come across it, or how it may relate to the ancestry of anyone you and I would happen to know is absolutely confidential, and I wouldn't think of discussing Ben - - -uh, anyone's personal family matters, but I must say, there is a rather mysterious development in the works that could turn out to be VERY exciting for all of us, and particularly for Mmm - - -someone we both know and love and oh goodness, I've said too much already but you know I would never betray confidences. And you being a lady of such impeccable breeding yourself, well of course, we are both far too ladylike to stoop to common gossip, but I certainly would appreciate hearing your speculations on some very curious research that's going on at the library. Do let's have a cup of your special bracing tea together soon.
: Miss Gaylee Cooper
Good evening, Miss Gaylee,
And ain't this a most fortunate meeting!! I was JUST on my way to pop an invitation through your door, inviting you to take tee-keel... tea! with me tomorrow! I felt we really should get together and pool our knowledge regarding cerain 'rumours' which have been circulating around Mohicanland of late.
Good heavens, my dear! Ladies such as ourselves do not 'gossip'! This is such an ugly, common term! However, 'speculating' is quite something else altogether! Yes, we must certainly get together and 'speculate'! And I can't wait to tell you what I hear Sheriff Benton (just call me Bent) Twigg has been 'speculating' about!!
Now, it just doesn't DO to throw wild accusations around - but *I* hear he has asked MMM - a certain lady with whom we are acquainted - for her hand in marriage, Miss!! Now it would seem that a certain Sheriff has uncovered references that lead him to believe that his ancestors... Well, my dear, I'm sure YOU will have more definite proof, I beg pardon, you will be in more of a position to 'speculate', having access to more accurate library resources than that old gossip monger, Jeannie O'Logue! ('Gossips' can cause SUCH trouble, dontcha know!!) But I believe that this certain Sheriff's proposals have been tendered on the basis of his claims to family... (Oh, perhaps we should not 'speculate', standing here in the middle of Main Square, m'dear!) Oh and I believe he was turned down flat!!!
One other thing, Miss Gaylee!! I hear Sheriff Twigg has now gone 'walkabout' and left that 'numpty' Dweebie Day-Lewis in charge of the law!! Can you believe that?! And from what I hear, Marshall Art ain't half hoppin' mad about that!! Absolutely apoplectic at being overlooked in favour of Dweebie, by all accounts!! There are gonna be some ructions THERE, sartain sure! But - Dweebie Day-Lewis?!! Good grief, Miss! If brains were dynamite, Dweebie couldn't blow his nose!! Sure as my name is Katie Stewart, of the House of Stewart, this town is gonna rock!!!
Well, Miss Gaylee, I look forward to entertaining you at my little establishment tomorrow afternoon - and doing a little more 'speculating'!! I shall endeavour to persuade Miss Marcia to join us. Well now, there is no point in 'speculating' if we can get our info straight from the horse's mouth (in a manner of speaking, of course!!).
Until the morrow then, Miss Gaylee. And - with the 'material' you have, I'd watch my back!
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