Posted by Miss Marcia on April 10, 2000 at 19:48:18:
*uuuuuumph!mullllllbleeeennnk!mmmmmmmmmbbbbblbdyydy!!*
*thinking...cain't talk...head hurts...whadup wid that?*
*mmmmmummmmmmmble....mmmmmmmurrrrph!*
*thinking...somethin' tied across my mouth...and geeminy, why am I hanging upside down like a sack of flour, here? Why, my hair's a-draggin' on the ground, and the grass is ticklin' my nose...and...and...those are FEET I'm starin' at!! Feet in MOCCASINS!!!!*
*MMMMMMMMMFMFMFMFMRRRUUUUUUUUUFFFFFH!!! OOOOOOOMMMMMPHPPHHHHLLLL!!!*
*thinking: Urk! Best quit doin' that...something flapped me right across the head again! Whoever's got me slung across his shoulder doesn't want me makin' so much noise, I reckon...somethin' tells me this isn't my dear Benton carrying me in such an undignified manner...if I could just remember what happened....think, Miss Marcia, think! Let's see....oh, yes...I was lost...looking for the path...and I heard a rustlin' and a clompin'...and I saw...I saw...why I saw an ARM...yes, an arm came poking through the bushes...but there's somethin' else...ow, ow, ow! My head is sore, and it's a bouncin' around somethin' fierce! Why, if I could talk, and I wasn't such a lady, I'd tell this bozo who's cartin' me around so rough just what he could do with himself!! Now, let me think again...oh, yes! That arm...I remember I went towards it, hopin' it was attached to my beloved Benton, but as I recollect, I noticed a rather suspicious looking tattoo around the wrist...yes...it's coming back to me now. I realized that arm was probably the property of a gen-U-ine VARMINT, and I started to run when BONK! Something hit me across the head & it was lights out for me. Now, if I can just put the pieces together...arm...tattoo...bonk on head...me slung over a shoulder and starin' at moccasins...URK!! I'm a CAPTIVE! Oh, mygraciousme!! I've been KIDNAPPED!!! I'm a STOLEN WOMAN!!! Oh, woe is me, woe is me...will I ever see my Benton again??? Or my cute little DownHome Kitchen??? And what about the rest of my Spring
Fiddlehead Fern jam???
Boy, I sure wish this rag wasn't tied around my mouth so I could yell HELPHELPHELPHELPHELPHELP at the top of my lungs!! Maybe I should just try to do it anyway...SOMEBODY might hear...SOMEBODY will surely miss my gentle, refined self around Mohicanland and come looking for me...SOMEBODY should find me...no matter how long it takes, no matter how far, SOMEBODY WILL find me!!!!
*Oooooooooooooooommmmmmmphllllllllly!!! GLLLLLOOOOOOOOORRRRRRPH!! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPHHHHHHH!!!!* *snort, snuffle*........................................