Posted by She Who Tracks La Longue Carabine on April 13, 2000 at 19:46:33:
Okay, Dweebie, I'm glad you decided to come along to help find Miss Marcia, but I think it'd be best if we stashed that great Acting Sheriff's badge somewhere in a hollow log and picked it up on the way back. When we find these Hurons, there's no way you're gonna sneak up on em with that thang shinin' like the North Star through the trees and bushes. Besides, every time you try to aim your rifle, the trigger gets caught on one o' them fancy points and fires the thang before ye can get it up to yer shoulder. So far ye bagged two tree limbs, a rock and a piece o' kudzu fer our dinner, and we're gonna end up shootin' each other before we get there.
Yes, Dweebie, it's a fine badge. Makes ye look real per-feshunal, but if them Hurons see us comin', ye're gonna look a lot less per-feshunal tied on a stake with yer hair on fire, so I'd suggest ye stash the thang right now. First we're gonna stake out the camp and see just where they got Miss Marcia, and then we're gonna charge in with rifles blazin' afore they know what hit 'em. Hector here is gonna go snappin' at heels to keep 'em confused. And then you're gonna rush to Miss Marcia and grab her and head out into the woods, while I reload and cover yer escape.
Whaddya mean "Who, ME?" Of course YOU! Anybody's got what it takes to be Actin' Sheriff sure ought to be able to grab a lady and run with her, and I'll be gol-durned if I'm gonna have YOU coverin' ME, the way you shoot! Now stop complainin' about the flies and mosquitos and get movin'! I think from the signs along the trail, we're catchin' up with 'em.
Keep movin', Dweebie, dang gum it! I about run ye over when ye stopped dead in yer tracks like that! Whaddya mean, "don't use words like 'dead'?" Stop yer whinnin' and MOVE!
She Who Tracks
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