Posted by Chillisquaque Charlie on April 18, 2000 at 13:54:34:
In Reply to: Re: APOTHECARY ALERT! posted by Doc M on April 18, 2000 at 11:51:01:
: : : : : : : RING RING RING!!!
: : : : : : : come one, come all!
: : : : : : : COME ONE, COME ALL!!!
: : : : : : : An Emergency Situation is Developing in LOTM.
: : : : : : : I see Davey Gunn and Someone by the name of She Who Kicks, or was it She Who Wears the Boots? getting Ready for a Trail-ventcha.
: : : : : : : People are gathering along the road to watch the new shenanigans about the develop.
: : : : : : : It is hot, flies and bees and wasps and fleas and ants and termites... all kinds of creepy crawlies... are sharpening teeth, claws, spears... etc to attack the party about to venture forth, as well as those who are foolish enough to watch them...
: : : : : : : RING RING RING!
: : : : : : : APOTHECARY ALERT!
: : : : : : : It is my most sincere advice that all of the aforementioned, head first to the MOHICANLAND Apothecary, to fortify themselves with the salubrious bottles of herbs and potions and teas...
: : : : : : : Having tried SlimTea I and SlimTea II, this townecrier recommends those sincerely,
: : : : : : : Also, to be able to cry about honestly, your Humble and Obedient Servant shall order Stamina-Chi and Revitalizer-Chi!! ASAP!
: : : : : : : RING RING RING RING!
: : : : : : : mOHICAAAN BOUNTIEESSS MADAME
: : : : : : : Would you please join me here on the podium and explain more all about the selections in the Apothecary??????????
: : : : : : : Thank you.
: : : : : : : TC (always on the job!)
: : : : : : Dear Always On the Job TC,
: : : : : : Yes, of course ... the Apothecary offers the finest herbs, poultices, potions, & tonics this side of the Atlantic. No wise woman on the frontier can claim any finer. We have teas that'll give Davey Gunn just the kick he needs to catch She-Who-Kicks ...
: : : : : : And stamina???!!!! HA! Why, I'm surpris'd Doc Mary has not yet raid'd the premises & made off with the goods. It'd give her ... establishment ... quite a boost. And surely she'd be well advis'd to serve up a goodly dose of our Greens to her Huron boys.
: : : : : : MB
: : : : : "Serve up a goodly dose of Greens to my HURONS????" Are you
: : : : : mad, then, woman??? I have to dose them with Ritalin
: : : : : as it is to keep them from killing ME!! If it weren't
: : : : : for the occasional Gnome hunt and a once a month
: : : : : massacre I'd have to beat them off with a chair!
: : : : : Idle hands be the Devil's workshop, you know.
: : : : : As for Doctor Mary, any sort of healthy green food
: : : : : would likely put her in a coma. As it is, massive
: : : : : daily doses of caffeine and an occasional shake-yer-
: : : : : booty at Bumppo's keep her at the peak of good health
: : : : : and well-being.
: : : : : Doc M
: : : : Excuse me, Doc. My mistake ... I humbly beg your pardon. I thought you had express'd a desire to find new uses & abuses for your Huron boys. Could've sworn you mention'd something about 'Pimping for Profit ... Alternative Frontier Marketing Strategies.' Must've been me who said that.
: : : : Anyway, never mind. Forget it.
: : : : By the way, you might want to take a peek at those Seamus Tales. Seems you've become a legend in your own time.
: : : : Regards,
: : : : MB
: : : Doc M is no PIMP, Miss! A keen-eyed businesswoman, with
: : : a penchant for walking on the wild side occasionally,
: : : I'll grant you! Oh, lord...wait a minute -- a nasty
: : : little gnome just ran by the Huron Kennel and made an
: : : exceedingly rude gesture! Hold on, I have to let
: : : them out...FETCH! FETCH!! Bring him back alive...
: : : he'll keep better!!!
: : : Yes, I did see myself somewhat mentioned ... defamed,
: : : debased, and misunderstood as always. *sigh* Honestly,
: : : a girl attends a few wet t-shirt contests at Fort
: : : Edward, and look what happens! Honestly, Doc M
: : : is simply the girl next door with a slightly jazzier
: : : exterior!!
: : : Doc M
: : Doc M!!
: : It seems my pal, Seamus MacWilliam, is havin' trouble with 'is head after being mistreated so badly by them devils, the Shawanese... He cain't see too straight sometimes and he has a ringin' in his ears and it aches 'im all the time. Is there anything ya might conjure up that would help 'im get it back on straight? He's too proud to ask for much help, so I thought I would ask for 'im. I've heerd you're the best there is...
: : I'd pay his bill for him, so don't worry about that...I just want 'im right.
: : Chillisquaque Charlie
: Good heavens...is Seamus still using that old Shawanese
: story??? Can't see straight, and a ringing in the ears??
: Sounds like he got into a bad batch of Bumppo's Corn
: Squeezin's...no doubt peddled to them by the perfidious
: English Trader. However, since you say that I'm the
: best there is and you offer payment...I think I'm
: in love with you! Take me away from all this! *ahem! ahem!*
: Forgive me...Doctor M's passionate nature interferes
: with her good judgement at times. We'll discuss this
: As for Seamus, please bring him to my Clinic forthwith.
: We'll toss him in the tank to dry out...I mean, we'll
: examine him thoroughly in our special Intensive
: Detoxification Isolatative Unit. And while we
: do that, perhaps you can explain exactly WHAT it
: is you want me to "get back straight" on him...
: Doc M
Well, Doc, I appreciate yer takin' the time, but I ain't gonna be able to bring Seamus in right aways because of 'im bein' well on 'is way to Ft. Loudoun and then to Ft. Frederick with 'is cousins and all to meet with their other cousin, Half Breed, and the Patuxents to save Mary Land from ruin by the savages who are bent on invading it. After they get done with that I might be able to get 'im in for a good goin' over. Don't know...
I don't think he got a bad batch of Squeezins, though, Doc, and that is because he don't sip 'em any more since he nearly performed an "indiscretion" last fall what with bein' too far under the influence. But that's another story.
He did get one hell of a thrashin' at the hands of those red devils and the notorious M. du Ranck, though. A lesser man woulda caved and died on the spot, but Seamus is as tough as a cheap steak, and he took it. But now he is payin' the price.
Tell you what...I, me own self, has a thing or two that you could look at, if yer a mind to. I ain't been examined in a long time...and, well, maybe I oughta be...! Hmmmm? What do ya think?
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