Posted by MMMMarcia on February 11, 2000 at 22:34:07:
In Reply to: Ballad of BillyGnome posted by William W. Gnome on February 11, 2000 at 21:20:16:
: hey, what's this I hear some of the females around this little burg have written a ballad of sorts??????? I hear tell they have put their imaginations and talents and creativity into coming up with some verses to honor the wee man of Mohicanland. Now, shucks, but that is a nice thang to do!
: I hear tell their little rendition was quite the hoot. Might make a good thing to be singin around the old campfire.....
: WHILST THE WEE LITTLE GNOME RUNS AROUND TYING ALL YOUR DANG SHOE LACES TOGETHER YOU SACRILIGIOUS INGRATES!!!!!!!!!
: And here I am of such a sweet and inoffensive disposition, loved by all. How darest they????
: *taps his wee foot waiting for the dump truck full of fresh cow chips to arrive so he can tee off in many general di-rections*
Well, now, Little Man...I'd be REAL careful with that load o' cowchips, if I were you. I sang a couple rounds of "Ode to GnomeDome" at a local karaoke club, and it just so happened that there was a fellow in the audience who's quite well connected with a Big Label Record Company. He tells me that little ditty could be a Number 1 hit across the country, if I play my cards right. He's thinking of having a certain popular coffee shop balladress named Phoebe Buffet perform it for the flip side of her most-requested tune, "Smelly Cat." He says the two subjects make a natural combination, and with proper marketing, everyone in America will have heard of our Little Man with the Lower Lip Sticking Out. He's thinking of spinoff marketing, too...maybe beaniegnomes, complete with clods of fake cowpoop for throwing. He's quite sure we can get the dolls made up with real goofy looking gnomie faces, all red & pinched up, and with their teensy little fists clenched up tight, and their pointy little heads popping through the tops of their pointy red caps. The beaniegnomes will of course come with their own fricassee pan, and an "Ode to GnomeDome" cd.
Yessir...threaten ME with those ol' cowchips, and you'll find your sqwuzzed up little face on every shelf in every Toys R Us in America. Why every whiny little kid in the country will want a beaniegnome of his own to frizzle up in the pan!!! And I can just hear them all singing verse after verse of "Ode" whilst they plan what to cook with the leftovers!!
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